So I’ve been MIA again. This is getting to be a habit. Bad, I know. And I’m sorry. But I just can’t seem to get anything together these days.
This post is going to be long and rambling. I apologize in advance.
I’m not reading. Well, I am and I’m not. I’ve got two books going right now, 100 pages into one of them and 50 pages into the other. But I just can’t seem to concentrate.
Talk about not being able to concentrate. I work as a bookkeeper. I was trying to count out my money for my deposit last week. Had to do it four times before I got the amount I had in my hand, only to realize that I was $36.32 short for some reason. Maybe it’s because I can’t think straight enough right now to even be able to count money out of the drawer. Wow. Pregnancy brain is in full force, and it’s kind of scary.
Last Saturday (the 14th) was my baby shower. While it wasn’t exactly what I wanted (the tornado had to go and ruin that), it was still a very nice time. I got a TON of stuff off of our list that we needed. I’m one lucky gal to have so many friends and family! My godmother even came down from St. Louis (2.5 hours away) JUST for the baby shower. What a lovely lady! Oh and my bestest friend Laine came down from Springfield (3 hours away) for it as well. See how blessed I am?
Best thing we got from the shower (besides the truck load of amazingly adorable clothes), the video monitor we had on our list! At $300 I was sweating getting it … well, not really, I knew my grandmother would fork out that money for it. I’m definitely looking forward to getting everything all set up for it (now we just need this little boy here to spy on with it!)
Worst thing we got from the shower …. and I don’t really mean “worst” in a bad way. It’s just something that is not my taste at all. AT ALL. One of my father-in-law’s aunts from Michigan actually sent down a framed drawing of a woman and child. Frame is gorgeous. Picture, not so much. What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing? It’s definitely not going to be hung up in my house. It won’t match anything I have in the entire house. And of course, both his parents thought it was such a gorgeous gift. Call me rude, but if they like it that much they can have the darned thing. I just don’t know what to do. The lady who sent it (who I’ve never even met and probably never will) will never know that the thing isn’t hanging in my house anywhere (right now it’s currently residing in a closet), but his parents will. It will be a difficult conversation to have to have when they finally realize that we never hung it up. Nathan says he will take care of it. I hope he handles it better than he handled the conversation about the yard work his parents did for us.
We still have to get a few more things off of our list that we didn’t receive at the shower. It’s all little stuff – diaper pail, mirrors for our car seats to see him in, window shades, etc . Oh, and we have only one pack of diapers, no baby wipes, no formula. Yeah, we’ve still got a lot of stuff we have to get – but that’s okay, I’m excited to spend some of the Christmas money I held back for just this occasion!! I think that will be on the agenda for this weekend. It will be an expensive trip to Babies-R-Us, but we need to finish getting as much as we can. Because I still have to put 95% of this stuff in its proper place! Ahh.
I’ve gone in search of a pediatrician (finally, right?). I had two recommendations. One was a glowing one from a friend from high school with a 16 month old baby boy. Too bad her doctor is not accepting new patients right now. So I’m going to have to go with my second recommendation, which was from a co-worker of my father-in-law. I’m not sure how this will work out, I guess we will see. I would feel more comfortable being able to go to my friend’s pediatrician, but beggars can’t be choosers sometimes. Actually I was surprised how the other location handled it, they told me all I do is give the hospital the name of the doctor from their practice that I want as my pediatrician and that’s it, I’m established. I figured it would be more to it than that. See how little I know?
Now that I’m in the home stretch little things are starting to pop up in my head, making me realize the enormity of this entire thing. It’s not as if it’s something new, something that I haven’t known about before. It’s just that some things I had never even considered before. But I suppose I will handle it to the best of my ability when these things arise.
And surprisingly enough, I am oddly calm about the actual labor/delivery. I don’t know why. Childbirth has always been my biggest fear. And my pain tolerance, well let’s just say that I am the biggest baby on the planet. But the last few months I’ve been just unconcerned about it. Even as I sat and watched the epidural video and then the childbirth video they showed in our childbirth class, I was just completely 100% calm. Now that might all change when the first contraction hits me, but right now it’s like the least of my worries, I guess.
Can you tell that I have baby on the brain? 24/7? It’s such a strange feeling. I never thought I would want to have children. And here I am having one. Eek!
I did have a nightmare the other night. Some of you might not consider this a nightmare, but I did. My family has always been big travelers. I went everywhere with my parents when I was a kid. I’ve traveled all over. Had a passport from the time I was 6 or 7. My first airplane ride was when I was 3 months old. My family has just always been that way. My husband’s family never traveled all that much. I think he only got to go to the beach one time as a kid, most of his vacations were spent visiting relatives. So I’m already trying to figure out where I can go after I have the baby, lol. I just can’t stay home. I haven’t flown once in this entire pregnancy because in the first trimester I was miserable with morning/noon/night sickness and then after that I was worried about the security with the x-ray machines and the new body scanners, and I’m not having a pat-down, and now I’ve hit the point where I don’t want to be that far from home. It’s killing me, to say the least. I have the travel bug. Bad. So I’m dreaming the other night that my husband and I decide we’re going to take a cruise to the Caribbean and do some snorkeling. Without the baby. We were going to leave him with my parents for the week. And by this point in my dream, G was already 10 months old, it’s not like I was leaving a 3 week old baby (although my parents technically did that with me for a wedding they had to attend out of town). Well his parents flew off the handle at us and told us how terrible parents we were, and that I was an un-fit mother because I was going to go on a child-free vacation with my husband, blah blah blah. You can imagine how this made me feel. In the dream it was a huge blow-up fight and it got really ugly. So after I woke up the next morning, I got to worrying that his parents will really feel that way about things. I don’t know that they will, I have no clue how they will react when we first go somewhere without the baby (and it will happen, sooner rather than later). I haven’t really talked to him about it yet, because I don’t want him to tell me that I’m overreacting again, like he’s been telling me about 90% of the other stuff I’ve worried about throughout this pregnancy. But it’s still in the back of my head. However, I doubt this will change anything in my life. Heck I can’t wait to get G his own little passport so he can hopefully go on some good trips with us! I’m going to be one of those crazy parents who drag their kids everywhere. Having a child won’t slow me down at all. I won’t let it. But we will also need some husband/wife time AWAY from the baby every once in a while.
My next doctor’s appointment is April 30th. After that I’m on to the weekly appointments. It’s getting super close and I’m sooooo excited. While I haven’t really had all that bad of a pregnancy (just the normal symptoms that 99% of women have), I’m still not a fan of pregnancy in general. I don’t understand women who LOVE being pregnant. I know I sure don’t feel that way. I’m just ready to get this little boy out of me so that I can have my body back to myself to put in it what I want to (no, I’m not breastfeeding, and please don’t attack me for that – I’m already hearing enough of it from doctors/nurses/strangers).
I hope everyone has a great weekend. I’m going to be a busy little bee around my house getting things even more prepared for the baby. I hope to be able to post pictures soon, but our nursery still has a way to go before it’s ready for the big reveal. Have a great weekend, y’all!!