Category: Miscellaneous Ramblings

….Another one opens.

On November 25th, we said goodbye to our house in Paducah.

It was a very bittersweet day for us … well, at least it was for me. That was our first house. We put a lot of our heart and soul into it to make it our own (not to mention too much of our hard-earned money…). It had been our home for nearly 6 years. It was the only house Garrett has ever known. We had just refinanced last year and was excited to be able to go to a 15-year mortgage. We had no plans to move anytime soon. But oh how those plans can change in an instant.

My husband accepted a new job in late September. His start date was officially November 3rd. We knew it would be nearly impossible to list and sell a house, buy a house and move within a short time period. Boy were we wrong! Within two weeks of listing our house we had an accepted contract. Four short weeks after that we were at the closing. Yes, you read that right. We sold our house in 6 very short weeks. Unheard of, right?! Our realtor sure thought so!

I’m not complaining about how things ended up for us. We were extremely lucky. We were not going to have to worry about two mortgages. We weren’t going to have to worry about scraping together the money for the down payment on the new house that we had picked out. Everything was falling into place perfectly.

But not everything can be entirely perfect. Our Paducah closing was November 25th. Our last night in the house was actually November 19th. That left two days for the movers to do their thing and then 3 more full days for the clean-up. I didn’t think everything was ever going to get cleaned out of that house, but somehow we made it.

So what wasn’t perfect, you might ask? Oh, you know … the slight fact that our new house closing wasn’t until December 5th. Folks that is 16 days from the date we moved out until the closing. And we knew we weren’t going to actually move into the house for a few more days after that (actually, as of this writing, we still are not officially moved in … that doesn’t happen until Dec. 10th.). For those who don’t want to do the math … that is 21 days total. Do you know how long 21 days really feels like when you have almost everything you own in storage and are staying with your parents for the first time (for more than a weekend) in nearly 10 years?? It feels like 21 YEARS! I mean, I love my parents. We have a great relationship with them. And while I knew this was going to be a rough transition, I was not at all prepared for how hard it was really going to be. Whew, I am so thankful that it is almost over.

And that on December 10th, I will be able to sleep in our new house for the first time:

So as you already know, my family and I are packing up and leaving Kentucky to head back home to Illinois. We have had a wonderful 6 years here. We have celebrated every wedding anniversary we’ve ever had here, we bought our first home here, we welcomed our first child here. And in all this time I never considered it “home.”

But now that it’s time to leave … I find myself wondering if we’re making the right decision. Maybe it’s more “home” than I realized. And I’m having a really hard time with it.

When my husband first accepted his new job I was over the moon. I was finally getting what I had wanted for the past 6 years … a chance to go home. Then the reality set in. And we put our house on the market. Went searching for a new home in our new town. Found a new home, put in an offer and close on Dec. 5th. Sold our home and close here on Nov. 25th.

It’s real. It’s happening. And I’m heartbroken. And I shouldn’t be. Because this move is going to be the best thing that has ever happened to us. Ten years down the road we will look back fondly on our time in Paducah, but will know that we made the right decision. So why does it hurt so much right now?! Why?

Our families and friends are ecstatic that we’re coming back home. But both my husband and I are struggling with our decision. Was it too rash? Did he make the right choice for the right reason? I can’t help but think he didn’t. 

You see, there’s more to the whole story. I’m expecting baby #2. I’m due in May of 2015. And I KNOW that my pregnancy had a lot to do with my husband’s decision. Financially it’s a better deal. Realistically, we’re closer to family. We will have pretty easy access to a ton of babysitters. Something that we haven’t had here in Paducah.

So I have tremendous guilt that my husband is making this change because of my pregnancy. And I don’t want him to hate his new job. He likes his current job, he loves his coworkers. And his new job is completely different. He is a civil engineer. He worked hard to get his degree and then worked his tail off and studied for the Professional Engineering test and became a PE. That’s something that he wanted since the day I met him when we were 17. It’s what he always wanted. And now he’s leaving engineering, and probably for good. I mean how many people can truly say that they are working in their chosen field, actually utilizing their college degree for what it was meant for? (I know I sure can’t).

He has asked me numerous times in the past week or so if I was sure this was what I wanted. And I finally owned up to it and said that I truly didn’t know. I know it was a crushing blow to him. Because I know that he made this choice for me, thinking it was what I wanted and would make me happy. Which is exactly why I’m not happy about it .. because he’s doing it for me, not for him. And that is exactly what I had hoped to avoid.

All I can tell him is that sometimes decisions suck, but we have to be confident that when we look back on things, years from now, we will know that this decision, while the hardest, most gut-wrenching one of our lives, was the right one.

It just sucks right now.

It’s insane in my neck of the woods.

My grandmother has been released from the nursing home and is back home. Currently with no help at all except for my 82-year-old grandfather, who had stents put in 2 weeks ago. This ought to end well.

Nathan’s grandmother spent Thursday night in the ER with severe pains running from her ribcage all the way around her back. The initial tests weren’t showing anything. They were going to admit her and schedule a scope for the next morning because they suspect an ulcer. She refused. They pumped her with three morphine shots and sent her home with instructions to call her primary physician first thing Friday morning to schedule the scope. As of yesterday evening she was in pain again, but she’s so stubborn she didn’t call her doctor.

We got a new bed last week, but when it was delivered there was this huge red stain on it that they say is from the manufacturer. They had delivered a bed with the exact same stain a few weeks back. They left it here and have ordered us another one that’s supposed to be delivered on Tuesday.

Since I will have to be home on Tuesday to wait for the delivery guys … I’m going to be a horrible mother and send my child to daycare while I stay home. This will mark the second time I’ve done this and while I do feel guilty … I need this for sure. A quiet house. Bliss!

Garrett has been on Pediasure twice a day since his 2 year appointment in June. After many tries, he will finally drink the strawberry ones. He likes it now and asks for his “strawberry juice” all the time. Good news is that I think he’s finally gaining weight! He’s definitely starting to look bigger … those little chicken legs are starting to fill in 🙂 But goodness gracious, those Pediasure people must thing they’re packaging liquid gold. It’s like I’m buying formula again.

I have a newfound respect for single parents after this week. Nathan has been working early and late every single day. Two nights he was up visiting family and wasn’t home until almost 11pm. So that left me with all parenting responsibilities (see why I’m sending my kid to daycare on the day I’m staying home next week?). Holy cow is it difficult. And my child, while difficult at times, isn’t really all that much trouble at the age of 2. … Except for when I find him climbing on the dining room table, playing with the outlet where the satellite is plugged in, or chasing the dog around the house trying to pull his tail. Yep, typical 2-year-old little boy 🙂

Speaking of typical 2-year-old little boy … it’s all I can do to keep Garrett from taking off all his clothes! Luckily, he only does it here at the house. But seriously?

He keeps going to the bathroom where we keep his potty. He pulls his own pants down and I remove the diaper. Then he runs out of the bathroom screaming “pee-pee potty!”. I’ve explained to him that he has to pee pee IN the potty. We’re not pushing him to potty train immediately, but he’s obviously stuck between interested and not ready.

Well I’ve realized that all I’ve talked about on my BOOK blog is my son. Oops. So … reading? During the second week of July I looked at the calendar and realized that I had only finished one book and had kind of lost my reading mojo. I started stressing about my numbers. Why do I do that to myself, anyway? However, in the last week I’ve finished three books. THREE! I don’t think I have to worry about my numbers now, ha! And I’m 100 pages into the book I’m reading now.

Speaking of which, I’m currently reading “Don’t Try to Find Me” by Holly Brown.  I’m really enjoying it so far! I’m dying to know what happened to make Marley take off! There’s obviously a big secret coming and I have a few guesses of what it might be … but I can’t wait to find out! Look for my review of this one sometime next week.

Well I think it’s time for me to sign off now. We are headed up to our hometown today. Going to play a round of golf with the husband while my parents babysit and then it’s off to the fair for us! It will be Garrett’s first trip, and while I’m not sure what he will get to do being only 2, I know he’ll enjoy walking around watching all the other kids.

Have a good rest of the weekend 🙂

It’s been insane in my world lately. And probably not in the best way possible, either.

We started the month of June by throwing Garrett his second birthday party (actual birthday is 5/30). Poor kid was sick at his own party. He went to the doctor the next day and was diagnosed with pink eye and allergies. He went back to the doctor three days later and was diagnosed with bronchitis. Kid can’t win. (He’s healthy now, though!)

Then it was hectic at my work because a co-worker was off for an unknown amount of time due to her husband having to have emergency heart surgery. Luckily I think she only missed 3 weeks … but it was the worst 3 weeks to miss at our work! So in addition to doing my work I had to pick up half of her work. And it was at the first of the month (billing) and the 10th of the month (payables). Ugh. But I made it through knowing that my mini-vacation was right around the corner.

And we had a blast on vacation. We left the kiddo at home and went to the Dominican Republic to see one of my very closest friends get married. She had a beautiful beach ceremony and a lovely reception at the Italian restaurant on the compound of our all-inclusive resort. It was a very nice time. And like I said very much needed after the previous weeks I had with all the work. But we did miss Garrett like crazy. We *could* have taken him with us, we were at a child-friendly all-inclusive resort. But we knew with the wedding/reception we would need help and he had to be 3 to be eligible for the children’s area. And since no one seemed interested in going to the DR with us for 4 nights, we left him home with the grandparents.

But it was what we were met with upon our return from vacation that has been the most difficult. My grandmother had been taken to the hospital the day we left for vacation. I knew she had been having some issues with a nagging cough. But she had seen her doctor and had medicine, and my mom said she seemed to be doing better. Maybe it was my mom not telling me the whole story, I don’t know. Either way, she was in the hospital with pneumonia. And her white blood cell count was through the roof. (Normal is under 10, she was at 24). So we got home late Monday night and Tuesday we were at the hospital visiting my grandmother. She looked horrible. The first time we saw her she wasn’t even aware of her surroundings. Never woke up the entire time we were there. The next time I went to see her she was at least opening her eyes and was aware of who I was, that was a wonderful thing for me to see after seeing her like she was before!

Now she’s got the pneumonia cleared up, but we’ve had to place her in a nursing home rehab facility to get her stronger. She’s on oxygen 24/7 now (and likely will be for the rest of her life) and she has therapy twice a day to get her strength back. Unfortunately, she was also diagnosed with dementia. We knew that her mind had been failing her for the last two years, but we were unaware of how badly she had deteriorated. My grandfather had really been covering for her so we wouldn’t know. It’s tough to know that it’s possible in a year or two she might not have any clue as to who I am. It just breaks my heart when I think about it really.

So that’s kind of where I am right now. I feel bad for my mom and aunt who are having to do so much when they can only do so little. My grandfather is in denial as to how badly my grandmother needs help. He doesn’t want her to remain in the nursing home indefinitely. They have the money for in-home care, but he doesn’t want anyone in his house. He wants to take her home with him and have it the way it was before she went to the hospital. Unfortunately that’s not going to be able to happen. He is so deaf that if she got up and fell in the middle of the night, he would never hear her yell for help. They will have to have care. But he’s fighting it tooth and nail. So of course my mother is incredibly stressed out and I hate seeing my family in this turmoil.

On the reading side, I’ve just started reading the book, Elizabeth is Missing for a TLC book tour. Unfortunately I’m having a very hard time getting through it. I’m only on about page 65 and have been “reading” it for three days now. The main character has dementia/Alzheimer’s. And I just can’t stand to read it knowing that that’s what my grandmother is going through. I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass on this review and it bums me out because when I was pitched this book it sounded so interesting. Now it’s just hitting too close to home. Part of me wants to read it just to have a better understanding of what she’s going through, the other part can’t bear to know what she’s going through. I don’t know what I’ll do with it yet.

Well that’s enough moping about my problems for now. I’m sorry to have unloaded it all on my readers, but I really needed to get it all out.

Hopefully things will start getting better in my world.

Until next time … have a great weekend!!

I haven’t really shared anything non-bookish here lately. And unfortunately, I don’t have much bookish things to share this week. So what a perfect opportunity, right?!

I have lots of exciting changes coming up in our little part of the world.

First. We made the big plunge. We are placing Garrett into daycare three days a week. It’s time. Until now we have been relying on my grandmother and in-laws. It’s been a challenge, but it’s worked. But there have been a lot of problems here recently, my caregivers want to go on vacation, have doctor appointments, have friends who are ill and need help getting to and from the doctor. It’s starting to become an issue. I always knew I wanted to get through the first year without daycare, and we attempted to place him last year … but family got in the way and swayed our decision. We got extremely lucky that we were able to get a spot so quickly this time around. It’s just time. He needs interaction with other children. I need to get back to work on a regular schedule. He’s still going to get to see his current caregivers a lot (they are family, after all) and I will be able to have every Friday home with him. But I can’t tell you how nice it will be to be able to not worry about who will drive the hour to my house to watch my child while I go to the dentist. It’s definitely a relief on that aspect. It will be a tough transition, but it’s in the best interest for everyone involved.

Nathan bought a fishing boat. He’s been dying to have one for years. We live 30 minutes from Kentucky Lake. I finally gave in … actually I got sick and tired of hearing him whine about it all the time. He got a good deal, so it’s not all bad. But you should have seen us trying to get it back on the trailer yesterday after taking it out for the maiden voyage. Oh dear. It was slightly embarrassing. He’ll get better with practice, but it took us an hour. An hour. Everyone else had theirs trailered and headed out within 5 minutes. There we sat. Trying time after time. Ha. It was funny, but frustrating. Going to take some getting used to 🙂

We spent the weekend in Nashville with some friends. We had a very good time. The bar scene isn’t really my thing, but there were a lot of good bands downtown, so I was surprised by how much fun I did have. Although I would have preferred to have spent a little more time at the mall!

We have a trip to the Dominican Republic planned in June. The girl who was my maid of honor is getting married on the beach down there. At least I hope I’m still invited to the wedding! I haven’t spoken to her since I told her that I wasn’t using her travel agent. I’m not sure what kind of a deal she had with her agent, but I was not comfortable using her since I had no idea who the woman was. Nothing against my friend or her agent, but I wasn’t comfortable using an agent that I would never meet in person and who lived 8 hours away from me. I know I ticked off my friend, but you know what … she should have been more upfront with me and told me that her and her fiancé had pre-paid the first night on 10 rooms and that she was going to lose that money if we didn’t use them all (although I think she got took, because that is not what the hotel’s cancellation policy is, so I have a feeling that her travel agent is pocketing the rest of that money… see why I didn’t want to use an agent I didn’t know?). She’ll eventually call me … I’m sure she’s just covered up between her work (she’s an attorney) and all the wedding plans … at least that’s what I’m telling myself, lol. If she un-invites me from the wedding I guess we will have a nice vacation, ha!

Other than that not much else is happening around here. Basketball fans know March Madness is in full swing. I pulled Kentucky in the office pool, so I’m still in it! Although “my” team is out … I was a Wichita State Shockers fan! (They’re in the same conference as my SIU Salukis!) They had a beyond awesome season, going undefeated until meeting Kentucky in the Big Dance. I would have liked to have seen them go farther, but it is what it is.

Hope everyone is having a great week. I’m off to read while my guy is still napping (guarantee he will wake up the moment I open the book, lol).