Category: Baby Book Addict

6/30/12

Dear Garrett –

I promise I won’t inundate you with all these silly letters that you probably won’t appreciate when you’re grown. But I do want to write to you a few times so you can know exactly what has been going on for all of us as a family. While this is being posted to Mommy’s blog, I will be printing it out to put in your baby book.

You were brought into our lives exactly one month ago today. You were born on 5/30/12 at 3:28am and you were 5lb. 14.4 oz. and 17″ long. Daddy picked out your first name and your middle name is Mommy’s maiden name. When I first laid eyes on you, I was amazed at how much you resembled your Daddy. You have his nose. But you have your Mommy’s eyes and her long, skinny toes. You are actually a pretty good blend of the both of us.

Mommy had a very easy labor and delivery, but you gave us a little bit of a scare when your heart rate began to drop in the last few minutes of your journey into this world. But you came out like a champ in the end. I will never forget the feeling I had when you were placed on my chest for the first time. I can honestly say that you never know what true love is until you become a parent. You had a little bit of trouble feeding early on while we were still in the hospital. You had quite a bit of trouble learning to suck, swallow and breathe all at the same time. But you eventually caught on.

We were able to bring you home on June 1st, 2012. You looked so small in your car seat. Daddy walked you through the front door and introduced you to your big “brother” Buster the Westie. He was not impressed at first at all, but he would eventually come around. That first day at home you were visited by your Grandpa Denny and great-grandma Denny; Grandma Denny couldn’t come down that day.

The first few days at home were challenging. Mommy and Daddy had never been around a baby before; we were learning everyday of your new life. I would like to think that we did a pretty good job considering how inexperienced we were. Those first few nights were extremely difficult. You had your nights and days all mixed up. And you were still having a little bit of trouble eating, we realized later that you had a pretty nasty case of reflux and really bad gas. One month later we are still trying to figure out the best ways to relieve the pain you feel from these conditions. You were bottle-fed, and I have to tell you that I have felt a little bit of regret by making this decision. Everytime I see the pain on your face while eating, I have to wonder if you would have all this trouble with eating had I made the choice to breastfeed. But it’s not something that I can dwell on now.

You had your two-week appointment at the pediatrician on June 14, 2012. Your Grandma Denny accompanied us. The fire alarm at Western Baptist went off for a good 15 minutes while we were in the waiting room. Miraculously you slept through the entire ordeal – too bad Mommy and Grandma couldn’t have been that lucky. We didn’t get to see your regular pediatrician, Dr. Mason, because she was out of the office that week, but we instead saw Dr. McGregor who was quite nice as well. At this appointment we learned that you weighed 6lbs. 4oz and were 18.25 inches long. To be honest, I question your length, because that seems like a very large growth in such a small time span, but that’s what they measured you at. Either way, you were a healthy growing boy and we were very happy.

You have seemed to have learned so many new things in this first month of your life. It amazes me every day how much you grow and learn. You are now focusing on our faces while we hold you and especially during feedings. You are just now starting to learn how to follow objects with your eyes. During tummy time you are able to hold your head up quite well. You make the cutest sounds and faces. There’s this one noise you make that is the most adorable thing ever, it’s almost like a big sigh but it’s very exaggerated. It’s hard to describe and I keep hoping that I will be able to catch it on video with my iPhone.

Everyday is a new adventure. I won’t lie, it’s been extremely difficult for all of us. Many tears have been shed. I have lost my temper with you and with your Daddy. I have been overwhelmed on a lot of occasions. But at the end of the day it has been worth every waking moment.

Mommy and Daddy celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary exactly two weeks before you graced us with your presence. We have been able to do a lot of fun and exciting things during our marriage. But I can honestly say that all of them pale in comparison to you. I try to live my life as regret-free as I possibly can, but I do have one very large regret. I regret waiting so long to have you. I regret being so selfish as to not want a child for so long. You are the best thing that I have ever done in my entire life. You are the light of my life. I love you in a way that you cannot imagine. I might be a little biased, but you are absolutely perfect in my opinion. I still look at you and am amazed that Daddy and I created you.

This first month has gone by so quickly. If I could I would keep you small forever. But at the same time I look forward to watching you grow up.

We love you so much,

Mommy & Daddy

Seriously. Garrett has pretty bad reflux. It’s miserable – for both of us. I hate seeing him in pain from it and yet, I’d also like for him to be able to settle in better during those middle of the night feedings. I’m not stupid, I know he’s only 4 weeks old and is not going to sleep through the night anytime soon, but when he’s up at 2:30am screaming bloody murder because it’s painful for him to eat even though he’s starving, it’s very difficult to remain calm, cool, and collected. There has been more than one occasion when I’ve had to wake Nathan up to relieve me because I’m starting to lose my patience with the situation.

He’s not sleeping well at all right now because of his reflux. We feed him (which is a chore in itself most of the time) and then he will fall asleep in our arms and we will lay him down either in his crib or his moses basket depending on what time of day it is and we will be lucky if he is able to sleep for one hour. Then he’s up screaming and crying and miserable. Nathan’s first reaction is to just feed him more, he’s crying so he must be hungry. But I’ve been around him long enough now that I know that that’s not always the case. Most of the time it’s because of his reflux. He spits up constantly – sometimes 2-3 hours after the previous meal when we’re getting ready to have the next meal. It’s definitely not fun and it’s a big challenge. Feedings are miserable, I have come to dread them to be honest.

Last night I ended up sleeping in the chair in the nursery with him in my arms. This was unintentional, but he slept beautifully between 11pm and 2:15am. And the only reason he woke up at 2:15am was because I woke up and tried to put him back down in his crib so I could go back to my bed. Then it was about an hour and a half fiasco getting him to eat. So by the time he settled back in (in my arms in the chair, again), it was almost 4am. I ended up just staying in the chair until we woke back up at 6:30 when the alarm went off for my husband to get up for work.

I had been noticing for about the last week or so that (1) the gas drops we were recommended to give him were not working as effectively anymore and (2) he sleeps perfectly when in our arms. So I got to thinking last night, maybe it’s being flat on his back. It was almost as if a light bulb went off in my head. I remembered one day late last week, I believe it was Friday, when his moses basket was upstairs and I was downstairs and wanted to lay him down for a nap so I could take one and the only thing handy for him was his car seat. (I was too lazy to go upstairs.) He slept the most peaceful 4.5 hours in that car seat that afternoon.

So I did a little bit of research online. One of the things that **can** relieve some of the discomfort from reflux is sleeping at a little bit of an angle. More research was done and I found that Babies R Us carry this wedge thingie that goes under the sheet of his crib and will give him a little bit of an incline while sleeping. I instructed hubby to swing by our local store when he gets off work today to see if they have one in stock (if not, I’m ordering one online). It’s worth the $20 and a try if it will relieve some or most of his discomfort. I’m not saying that this will be a cure-all and he will magically sleep through the night. I’m not that naive. But seeing my baby hurting hurts me so badly.

One of the last things that a friend of mine said to me when we were talking about my upcoming delivery was “My hope for you is a baby who doesn’t have reflux.” I now understand 100% why she said this. It’s miserable. It’s terrible. And there’s not much that can be done about it, it’s something that he has to outgrow it seems like. And that could take months, possibly up to a year. Apparently spitting up/reflux peaks at 4-5 months, I’m still in the first month! My only hope is that we can find some relief for him … because this stinks!

Garrett was two weeks old yesterday. Today he had his two week doctor’s appointment.

He now weights 6lbs 4oz. That’s a total gain of 10 ounces from his discharge weight! Yay! Oh and he’s now 18.25 inches, that’s a growth of 1.25 inches! In two weeks! I can’t hardly believe he’s grown that much – someone must have been a little off, either the measurement in the hospital or this one. But I guess anything is possible.

I still think we’re a little messed up on our days and nights, although not nearly as bad as we were.

I am already noticing that he’s not napping as much as he used to in the daytime. (Ugh!). Well let me explain that – he’s not sleeping for very long periods of time anymore. But I’m excited that he’s awake more, though. And although I don’t want him to grow up too fast, I’m definitely ready for him to get a little bit older and get a personality and big enough where we can play! Plus I’m reading for him to have neck muscles!

He’s not spitting up nearly as often as he was. But I don’t know if this is because I am learning how to manage it better with slower feedings/more burping or not. Who knows. All I know is that it’s definitely nice not to be mopping up so much spit up at every feeding.

However, feedings are not really getting any easier. In the daytime it’s not too bad. But at night they can be horrendous. I talked to the pediatrician about this today. He’s been getting very fussy at nighttime. According to the doctor it’s because by the time he’s woken me all the way up and I get him changed and settled in to eat he’s starving and goes kind of crazy. Even though I’m right there with the bottle he’s fussy, flailing his arms and legs and moving his head side to side and totally ignoring the bottle that I’m trying to give him. Apparently this is all 100% normal. That was reassuring – now if only he would stop that bad habit! Haha. She said that the main thing is to get him fed when he first starts his cues (which is what happens in the daytime, because I’m there to notice them). A work in progress, I suppose 🙂 Plus I’ve noticed that giving him a drop of Mylicon (gas drops) with every other feeding is helping as well.

Buster the Westie is really adjusting quite well. For three years he’s been our baby. We knew the adjustment could and would be difficult. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised with how well he’s doing. He no longer barks when Garrett is crying/fussy. He no longer barks when Nathan is holding/paying attention to Garrett. And he’s definitely improving when people come over to visit Garrett and not him. I’ve noticed that he follows me upstairs with Garrett for feedings and diaper changes. It’s like he’s watching over us. I think he’s going to be quite protective of Garrett before it’s all over with!

I’ve been doing a little bit better. I’ve been a little overwhelmed here at the house all day long by myself. My parents and Nathan’s parents have all been down numerous times of course, but for the most part it’s just me, Garrett and Buster Monday through Friday 7:30am-5pm. I’m not used to having to be completely responsible for someone so helpless. I mean the dog is pretty well self-sufficient at 3 years old (all he needs is food and water in his bowls and bathroom breaks in our fenced in backyard). I know I had some pretty bad mood swings the first week or so. I would cry for no reason. I would get very upset when I couldn’t soothe Garrett. But I’ve learned to step back and just breathe through it. I think I’m almost out of my baby blues (or at least I hope I am).

I am back in my pre-pregnancy jeans! Yay! I was in them 8 days after baby. Now, before you all hate me, and I do give you permission to do so, there are some things you need to know. First, I was overweight before I got pregnant and didn’t gain but 20 pounds total during my pregnancy. Two of those pounds were lost in the last two weeks of my pregnancy and 7 more were lost during my first 24 hours in the hospital after delivery. The rest of it, well I think I peed it all out! Seriously, I thought I had to go all the time when Garrett was on my bladder, it was nothing in comparison to how much I went when I was first home from the hospital! Second, I was ALL BELLY! Plus it didn’t hurt that my pre-pregnancy jeans were a little on the big side before I got pregnant anyway. And lastly, while I may be back in those jeans, it doesn’t mean that my stomach doesn’t have a pouch to it – it definitely does. I think I could do ab exercises for the rest of my life and I would never get rid of that pouch. But of course I’m not doing any exercising until I get the go-ahead at my 6 week postpartum appointment.

And you know what the best part about being up at 2:30 in the morning with a baby wanting to be fed and then needed to be held for a good 20 minutes after eating to avoid spitting up once I lay him back down in his crib?? I have learned how to download e-books from my local library to my iPhone and can read a little bit while I’m waiting to put him back down! Awesome, right? Oh and all those times that he’s napping and I should be doing the same? Well, I’m using that time to get a little bit of reading in as well! All of a sudden I want to read 24/7. The last few months of my pregnancy reading was the last thing on my mind. Now I can’t get it off of my mind. Crazy, right? I think I will be able to find a good balance with my reading and baby responsibilities! Yay!

So there it is. My two week update. I could probably find more to write about. But I’ll save that for another day. For now, I’m going to leave you with another picture of my totally adorable son. I had been trying to capture the elusive grin he sometimes gets after he eats (and right before he poops, lol) and I finally got it!!

Mommy: This is definitely the hardest job I’ve ever had in my entire life.

My little dude is only 12 days old. Countless tears have already been shed. My patience has been tried beyond its earthly limit. I’m going stir crazy in my house.

My recovery has been so easy. Unbelievably so, actually. Because of that, the first few days at home I felt so good I knew I could do everything and then some. I wanted to be super mom. And I did do it all.

Now that Nathan has been back to work for a few days, I’m a little more than overwhelmed. I’m actually a little resentful toward him because he gets to get away for 8 hours a day. I don’t. I’m here all day and all night. I do everything. And I’m pissed off about it to be completely honest. I know I have to during the day but a little help at night would be nice. Instead he wants to sit on his computer and play games all night.

I’m pretty sure I’ve got a mild case of the baby blues. I’m trying my hardest to keep that in check because I don’t want it to become full fledged postpartum depression and let it go without some help.

To those stay at home moms out there, I salute you. To anyone who says having that as your job is not a real job you obviously never taken care of a newborn 24/7. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I never wanted to put my kid in daycare and risk missing a lot of milestones. But honestly I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a stay at home mom.

And to those moms who have more than one child: I don’t know how you do it. And to those with multiples: you must be a saint.

This is hard work. And it’s the most important job I have ever had. And it’s also going to be the most rewarding job I’ve ever had.

On May 30, 2012, at 3:28am I gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

He was 5 lbs 14.4 oz and 17 inches long.

My labor was very easy. My water broke at 10:45pm on the 29th and less than 5 hours later I was holding my son. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

We are now on our second (third actually since it’s 1am!) day home. I type this on my phone as I hold him in my arms trying to soothe him back to sleep. It’s been difficult but worth every WAKING moment 🙂

I couldn’t ask for any more in life. My world is complete.

So I will leave you with a picture of my son, Garrett.